WHAT I SAID WHEN MY SON ASKED ME IF I GREW UP POOR
A poem by Svea Barrett
I remember a chipped, milk chocolate house and
a cocker spaniel who bit a passer-by so my dad
had to shoot him. I remember a green pedal car
and a big tin washtub, which was our pool in summer.
I remember Dad pushed the mower hard and not often,
its silvery rust-flecked blades spun and spiraled as
my
dad wiped his sweat with a stained white handkerchief.
There was no smell but cut grass, no sound but the
slip
of the blades. Bees bumped against the screen in my
room,
my sister and I held rabbits under the kitchen sink
and our big front porch with its broken white wicker
rockers made the best seat in town for all the
parades.
And here's another, one I can (as an English teacher lady) especially relate to:
“Will you read this for me?” But why, I'll want to say.
So I will. Why? And you'll say, “because I want to know
what you think.” But you don’t. I can’t read a poem
without a pen anymore, and it will slash. “Needed?”
I will write next to a part I have isolated with my
small inward curves of ink and you’ll cry. No, that’s
so arrogant of me of course you won’t actually cry.
Worse, you’ll argue. “That’s not what I meant.” Then
say what you mean, I’ll want to say, but I’ll say OK,
what do you mean? And you’ll tell me and I’ll say
that’s so good—say that in the poem. “Oh!” You’ll say,
“I can say that in a poem?” Yes. “But I can’t today.
I have to hand it in now, it's already late.” I’ll sigh.
So why did you want to know what I think? But I
won’t say that. I have no time for this—I want to
read a poem that’s done—Elizabeth Bishop. Naomi
Shihab Nye. C.K. Williams. Billy Collins, even.
Or else the pen comes--if you ask me, it will come
and not like you want—I will draw lines through
parts, I will pepper the margins with question marks.
Yes, there will be some checks or even check pluses—
my grudging way to say way to go if you know what
they mean and if you were in my class you would
and I would have time for your poem and it would
be for a purpose then, not just because you need me
to say it’s great just the way it is instead of how it
could be, possibly, even a little bit better.
Svea Barrett
Happy Poetry Friday everybody!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI love the stingy teacher in the second poem, who saves all the best for her own teaching and her own students!
ReplyDelete"Yes, there will be some checks or even check pluses—
my grudging way to say way to go if you know what
they mean and if you were in my class you would
and I would have time for your poem and it would
be for a purpose then..."
I sank into that first poem, so many sights and sounds and smells to answer a son's question. The second poem made me sigh... Thank you for introducing us to Svea and for hosting! A.
ReplyDeleteI so love the first poem here... and my contribution to Poetry Friday is on a similar theme as the second! Wonderful. Thanks so much for hosting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing Barrett into the conversation, Tara. "For My Students Who Bring Me Poems After School" should be in every new critique group member's welcome packet!
ReplyDeleteThis week I'm blogging about Margaret Wise Brown at The Write Sisters.
Thanks for hosting!
Oh, I love these poems! The details in that first one made me feel like I was immersed in a movie montage that shows you an entire childhood in 15 seconds of dissolving images.
ReplyDeleteAnd that second one--hoo boy, been there!
Thanks for sharing these and for hosting!
The first poem has lots of visual interest that I like. No blog post from me today (I just got back from Florida), but I'd like to wish everyone a happy Poetry Friday. Thanks for hosting, Tara!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I got distracted by a sick dog from making my comment. I wanted to say thank you to Tara for hosting, and also to say that I remember when I was young wanting to hear "That's perfect! Don't change anything!" every time I wrote something. It was liberating to grow out of that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting! I'm in this week with Billy Collins.
ReplyDeleteThe second poem smacked me right between the eyes. I came here and read it last night, while a young poet's work is on my desk. Waiting for my response. because I am not a teacher anymore, I will not mark up that page. I have to find a different way to be of use. I can't read with a teacher's critical eye. Maybe I will give this person a copy of Rilke. That might be my best course.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting, Tara! I'm in with some thoughts on Poetry Speaks Who I Am.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting.
ReplyDeleteMy selection is "Science: Fresh Squeezed: 41 thirst-for-knowledge-quenching poems" written by Carol Diggory Shields and illustrated by Richard Thompson.
my comment seems to have vanished.
ReplyDeleteloved the first one, funny how an innocent question can open so many doors, memories.
the second poem sort of made me furious. as a former middle school teacher i would have welcomed any work my kids did outside the classroom, and not with pen in hand. i always resented those teachers who were looking to "help" me make my writing a little bit better." it isn't approval but a validation of voice, a recognition sought after years of feeling like their voice doesn't matter, that's why students bring work to their teachers.
still, it's a good poem. it drew a solid emotional response out of me! thanks for sharing both.
Love that first poem, especially the way it doesn't directly answer the question of the title. Whenever I see that kind of indirection in a poem, I think of magicians, fooling us by making us look at one hand while the other hand works the trick.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting, Tara!
I like the way the first poem turns the one word into a story. And I think I've been inside the head of that teacher in the second poem. Thank you for these, and for hosting!
ReplyDeleteThat second poem really resonated with me. As a former English/language arts teacher, I had many moments like that. Now (as a librarian) when a student brings me a poem to read, I tell her what I like about it. I feel better afterward.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting, Tara, and for introducing me to the poetry of Svea. I will be seeking out more!
Lovely poems, Tara. Thanks for hosting, even though I never managed to get mine posted. I hope to read tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting. Loved the juxtaposition of those two poems!
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting and thanks for two great poems!
ReplyDeleteHello Tara and everyone who wrote here--it's Svea Barrett. Not anonymous, just unfamiliar with blogs and couldn't get my name in any other way. Thanks for your comments. Wow, I'm not sure what to say--I am so flattered that Tara included me here. I am also not sure where she got the teacher poem. It is not a well written poem, in my opinion, and it is not published anywhere that I know of because I never sent it out except maybe on a website where I write new stuff sometimes--poetsonline.org--a great place to get prompts and ideas for writing, by the way.
ReplyDeleteTo the person who was angry--these are actually my students who come in like this. My students know how I work in class--and NONE of them ever feel belittled. I take my time with them and build confidence first--always telling them what is good first--like I am saying "Look at this part--you have talent--don't get lazy in other parts--let your whole poem live up to the great parts!"
My students take my classes over and over--there are three levels of Creative Writing. They learn to love the comments for revision. Their work grows. They go on to win writing awards, to study writing in college. They are still my friends today--on facebook and elsewhere.
I was feeling frustrated on the day I wrote this poem--I feel it does a disservice to a student to just say "Wonderful!" and nothing else, but I am never mean to a student, even if I don't see much that is stellar in their work--I can always find something good to say.
It's a bad poem, mine, because it is only a second draft and does not say what I want it to say. If a student comes in to me and says I am handing this in to another teacher, can you look at it, but they don't want help, I say I usually read work to help students with another draft--right now I can say what I like in your poem,--but it's too late to say what I think you should work on, right?
How is it a service to a kid to say "Wonderful!" and then they hand it in and the English teacher gives it a low grade? Creating real writers is a tough job. In my classes, with the time and space, I can do it. In a split second after school it's almost impossible.
Anyway, don't worry, my kids like me, and I do not damage any budding young writers.
Also, the first poem is an earlier draft too--there is a second, with a slightly different order--here it is--though the line breaks never work out right in these things.
What I Thought When My Son Asked If I Grew Up Poor
I remember a chipped, milk chocolate house
and a cocker spaniel my dad had to shoot
when it bit a passer-by. I remember a green
pedal car and a tin washtub--our pool in summer.
Bees bumped against the screen in our room,
my sister and I held rabbits under the kitchen sink
and we knew the wide, peeling rail on our sagging
porch—spitting distance from the street—was
the only decent place in town to watch the parade.
I remember my father wrestled the push-mower:
silvery rust-flecked steel spun and spiraled as he
wiped the sweat with a stained white handkerchief.
There was no smell but cut grass. There was no sound
but the grunts he made; the tender slip of those blades.